Bimcunved is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, bad-tempered narwhal.

Bimcunved created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimcunved, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bimcunved, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bimcunved's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bimcunved's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always maintain patience during holy days.

3. Never gather four swans in one place.

4. Do not place lemons upon stone.

5. Never hurt mites.