Zedtitveen is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, tiresome jellyfish.

Zedtitveen created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtitveen, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zedtitveen, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zedtitveen's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Zedtitveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured grasshopers.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never feed lots of bananas to sheep while wearing fawn corsets.

4. Zedtitveen loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not dye your hair white.