Queegdadbamcettinquartkik Tunlarpben is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous fish.

Queegdadbamcettinquartkik Tunlarpben created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegdadbamcettinquartkik Tunlarpben, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Queegdadbamcettinquartkik Tunlarpben, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Queegdadbamcettinquartkik Tunlarpben's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Queegdadbamcettinquartkik Tunlarpben's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Do not turn your back toward west.

4. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. You must love Queegdadbamcettinquartkik Tunlarpben.