Sogmotwap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, thoughtless jackal.

Sogmotwap created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogmotwap, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sogmotwap, he will turn you into a snail.

Sogmotwap's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sogmotwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.