Staftafdad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthoughtful salamander.

Staftafdad created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Staftafdad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Staftafdad, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Staftafdad's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Staftafdad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Staftafdad.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never feed garlic to capybaras while wearing shirts.

5. Feed all hungry otters.