Vongovfid is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, quiet zebra.

Vongovfid created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vongovfid, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vongovfid, she will turn you into a mole.

Vongovfid's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Vongovfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vongovfid's priests.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing purple scarves and balancing three tin spheres on your head.

3. Worship no other gods but Vongovfid.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. You must pray to Vongovfid four times a day.