Quatbutbed is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, contented grasshopper.

Quatbutbed created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quatbutbed, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quatbutbed, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quatbutbed's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Quatbutbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

3. Do not prepare corn while wearing trousers.

4. Never speak aloud of secrets.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.