Dapdanfum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, contented wren.

Dapdanfum created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapdanfum, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dapdanfum, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dapdanfum's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Dapdanfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to sharks while wearing pink shoes.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Dapdanfum in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.