Vogveddod Cennurlfemkad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, staggering gorilla.

Vogveddod Cennurlfemkad created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogveddod Cennurlfemkad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vogveddod Cennurlfemkad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Vogveddod Cennurlfemkad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Vogveddod Cennurlfemkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume rice at dawn.

2. Run away from blue foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near tapirs while wearing brown trousers and balancing nine zinc spheres on your face.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to music.