Staftigbid is a god.

She takes the form of a large, loving coyote.

Staftigbid created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Staftigbid, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Staftigbid, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Staftigbid's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Staftigbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to capybaras while wearing red shorts.

2. Never handle silicon while unclean.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always count to six before sleeping.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.