Fomcembogvol is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, weak wombat.

Fomcembogvol created humanity eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomcembogvol, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fomcembogvol, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fomcembogvol's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Fomcembogvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Always help manatees in need.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.