Binfotkom Jarnjabstaffly is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, temperamental gorilla.

Binfotkom Jarnjabstaffly created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Binfotkom Jarnjabstaffly, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Binfotkom Jarnjabstaffly, she will ignore you.

Binfotkom Jarnjabstaffly's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Binfotkom Jarnjabstaffly's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.