Kaptalbid is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid dryad.

Kaptalbid created the Large Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Kaptalbid, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kaptalbid, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kaptalbid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Kaptalbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Always help sharks in need.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

5. Always remove kilts before touching carbon.