Bessfonrut is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, humane troll.

Bessfonrut created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bessfonrut, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bessfonrut, he will come to you in dreams.

Bessfonrut's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bessfonrut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Never hurt birds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never feed garlic to squirrels while wearing mauve shorts.