Jipflatkop is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, intelligent squid.

Jipflatkop created the Tadpole Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipflatkop, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jipflatkop, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Jipflatkop's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Jipflatkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

2. Never feed spinach to hamsters while wearing skirts.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Never paint your legs magenta.