Pinarntam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair crab.

Pinarntam created the Cigar Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinarntam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pinarntam, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Pinarntam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Pinarntam's Holy Commandments

1. Pinarntam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never paint your hands magenta.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never mention snails.