Bamtitdan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous beaver.

Bamtitdan created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamtitdan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bamtitdan, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bamtitdan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bamtitdan's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Always maintain patience during days of mourning.

4. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

5. Do not record secrets concerning moons.