Lapzakont is a god.

She takes the form of a small, compassionate goblin.

Lapzakont created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapzakont, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Lapzakont, she will curse you with boils.

Lapzakont's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lapzakont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must pray to Lapzakont four times a day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lapzakont.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Lapzakont in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.