Habdammin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, slow jaguar.

Habdammin created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Habdammin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Habdammin, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Habdammin's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Habdammin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Never talk about bats.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.