Dumlapbut is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unfair beaver.

Dumlapbut created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumlapbut, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dumlapbut, it will turn you into a snail.

Dumlapbut's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Dumlapbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near foxes while wearing gray rings and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.

5. Pray towards the west.
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