Dumlapbut is a god.
It takes the form of a blubbery, unfair
beaver.
Dumlapbut created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Dumlapbut, it will ignore you forever.
If you do not believe in
Dumlapbut, it will turn you into a snail.
Dumlapbut's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.
Dumlapbut's Holy Commandments1. Never look at nebulae.
2. Learn six new languages a year.
3. Do not skip in public.
4. Never think about thermodynamics near foxes while wearing gray rings and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.
5. Pray towards the west.