Toflargrip is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, moody mole.

Toflargrip created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Toflargrip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Toflargrip, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Toflargrip's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Toflargrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing indigo jumpers and balancing seven titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Run away from cyan ants, for they are unholy.