Babhamfet is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, charitable goblin.

Babhamfet created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Babhamfet, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Babhamfet, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Babhamfet's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Babhamfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never adorn your feet with turquoise markings.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Babhamfet.

4. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Babhamfet.