Nibmumveen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, annoying crocodile.

Nibmumveen created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Nibmumveen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nibmumveen, she will destroy your home solar system.

Nibmumveen's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nibmumveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snakes.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Nibmumveen loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not stand on grass.