Vonkmabhin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy aardvark.

Vonkmabhin created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmabhin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vonkmabhin, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vonkmabhin's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vonkmabhin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Never skip near seals.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Always remove shoes before touching tin.