Hamlargmipzimzim Rowodnel is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, intelligent wren.

Hamlargmipzimzim Rowodnel created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamlargmipzimzim Rowodnel, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamlargmipzimzim Rowodnel, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hamlargmipzimzim Rowodnel's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Hamlargmipzimzim Rowodnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never jump in the presence of mice.