Monsakfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, witty aardvark.

Monsakfeb created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monsakfeb, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Monsakfeb, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Monsakfeb's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Monsakfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near porpoises.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Worship no other gods but Monsakfeb.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Retreat if five great tits approach from the west.