Artfemtarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, all-powerful gorilla.

Artfemtarp created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Artfemtarp, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Artfemtarp, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Artfemtarp's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Artfemtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Artfemtarp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never mention frogs.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.