Quafcenren is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy mouse.

Quafcenren created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcenren, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Quafcenren, she will be very sad.

Quafcenren's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Quafcenren's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with envy.

2. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

3. Always store peanuts above ground.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.