Fetlibbet is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid ant.

Fetlibbet created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetlibbet, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fetlibbet, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fetlibbet's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fetlibbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Never cross mountains at dawn.

4. Do not prepare grapes while wearing shirts.

5. Never mix lentils with oil.