Flabdudbetcit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, tranquil bat.

Flabdudbetcit created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flabdudbetcit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Flabdudbetcit, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Flabdudbetcit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Flabdudbetcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Never talk about aardvarks.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never wear pink dresses on sacred days.