Cetbellzig Talnillhen Sugdam is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, impressive gnu.

Cetbellzig Talnillhen Sugdam created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbellzig Talnillhen Sugdam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetbellzig Talnillhen Sugdam, he will be very unhappy.

Cetbellzig Talnillhen Sugdam's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Cetbellzig Talnillhen Sugdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near turtles.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near hamsters while wearing purple shirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Cetbellzig Talnillhen Sugdam must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.