Matlenwat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid shark.

Matlenwat created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matlenwat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Matlenwat, he will throw large rocks at you.

Matlenwat's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Matlenwat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three platinum sculptures of Matlenwat on top of important buildings.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not keep seven eagles in a large pit.

4. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

5. Never gather five voles in one place.