Mipfentifpit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest octopus.

Mipfentifpit created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mipfentifpit, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mipfentifpit, it will destroy your home solar system.

Mipfentifpit's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Mipfentifpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Mipfentifpit's name in vain.

2. Never sit in the presence of ducks.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Always obey Mipfentifpit's priests.

5. Do not eat aubergines.