Vedzen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, caring whale.

Vedzen created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vedzen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vedzen, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vedzen's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Vedzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silicon while unclean.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Do not record numbers concerning dwarf planets.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Vedzen.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.