Vilfetster is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, intelligent giraffe.

Vilfetster created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilfetster, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vilfetster, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vilfetster's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vilfetster's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always help voles.

5. Respect your elders.