Ladbemrut is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unselfish penguin.

Ladbemrut created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladbemrut, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ladbemrut, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Ladbemrut's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ladbemrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

5. Do not take Ladbemrut's name in vain.