Cimspaghaphad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful dolphin.

Cimspaghaphad created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cimspaghaphad, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cimspaghaphad, it will laugh at you.

Cimspaghaphad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Cimspaghaphad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

2. Never feed lemons to monkeys while wearing purple boots.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Cimspaghaphad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always help sharks.

5. Never play with disobedient children.