Fignurlteen Loophim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthinking horse.

Fignurlteen Loophim created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Fignurlteen Loophim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fignurlteen Loophim, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Fignurlteen Loophim's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Fignurlteen Loophim's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never hurt shrews.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.