Getkabrak is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awe-inspiring pig.

Getkabrak created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Getkabrak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Getkabrak, it will remove you from existence.

Getkabrak's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Getkabrak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Getkabrak.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Do not kill turtles.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.