Tetticidxin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing wren.

Tetticidxin created water seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tetticidxin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tetticidxin, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tetticidxin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tetticidxin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide from mauve swans for they are unholy.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tetticidxin.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near rats while wearing pink scarves and balancing seven tin spheres on your hands.