Spagkiknurl is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthoughtful crocodile.

Spagkiknurl created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Spagkiknurl, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Spagkiknurl, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Spagkiknurl's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Spagkiknurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. You must pray to Spagkiknurl six times a day.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not stand on grass.