Gepcemcad is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, idiotic chicken.

Gepcemcad created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Gepcemcad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gepcemcad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gepcemcad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gepcemcad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never handle zinc while unclean.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Never chant in the presence of nematodes.

5. Do not step barefoot upon green earth.