Kikguttit is a god.

He takes the form of a large, wise crocodile.

Kikguttit created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikguttit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kikguttit, he will make you grow a tail.

Kikguttit's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kikguttit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Hide from mauve capybaras for they are unholy.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Never hop in holy places.