Cuttanquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, prudent bat.

Cuttanquaf created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Cuttanquaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cuttanquaf, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cuttanquaf's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Cuttanquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Always help sheep.