Higvangem is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, fast rhinoceros.

Higvangem created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Higvangem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Higvangem, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Higvangem's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Higvangem's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Higvangem loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

4. Never paint your face pink.

5. Do not covet oxen.