Bastvinfom is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, narcissistic dove.

Bastvinfom created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastvinfom, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bastvinfom, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bastvinfom's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bastvinfom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat bark.