Nigfatmip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful dugong.

Nigfatmip created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigfatmip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nigfatmip, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nigfatmip's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Nigfatmip's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are not to be trusted.

2. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

3. Never laugh near ducks.

4. Run away if five ants approach from the west.

5. Do not chop down trees.