Armbatlam is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, intelligent crab.

Armbatlam created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armbatlam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Armbatlam, it will turn you into a sheep.

Armbatlam's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Armbatlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of onions to bats while wearing purple skirts.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near sheep while wearing green shorts.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Never hurt squirrels.