Vogjonvag is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unthoughtful seal.

Vogjonvag created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogjonvag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vogjonvag, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Vogjonvag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vogjonvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not hurt manatees.

3. Never wear orange dresses.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Never talk about spacetime near shrews while wearing red shoes.