Funvoljig is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish owl.

Funvoljig created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funvoljig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Funvoljig, she will turn you into a mouse.

Funvoljig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Funvoljig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Funvoljig.

3. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not eat grapes.

5. Do not fashion tools from gold.