Vidyimyattcebkimvegtam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing aardvark.

Vidyimyattcebkimvegtam created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vidyimyattcebkimvegtam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vidyimyattcebkimvegtam, she will torture you forever.

Vidyimyattcebkimvegtam's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vidyimyattcebkimvegtam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never look at nebulae.