Sitfutnan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, self-assured zebra.

Sitfutnan created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitfutnan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sitfutnan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sitfutnan's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Sitfutnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sitfutnan's name in vain.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near mice while wearing orange corsets.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.