Monstikflapnak is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, competent walrus.

Monstikflapnak created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Monstikflapnak, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Monstikflapnak, he will turn you into a worm.

Monstikflapnak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Monstikflapnak's Holy Commandments

1. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.