Cimpibdubweg Waphonnak is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional spider.

Cimpibdubweg Waphonnak created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimpibdubweg Waphonnak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cimpibdubweg Waphonnak, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cimpibdubweg Waphonnak's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Cimpibdubweg Waphonnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Erect three tin sculptures of Cimpibdubweg Waphonnak on top of important buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about dark matter.