Japflatbutren is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, thoughtless fairy.

Japflatbutren created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Japflatbutren, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Japflatbutren, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Japflatbutren's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Japflatbutren's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of elders.

2. Never wear turquoise ear rings on sacred days.

3. Always look after injured tortoises.

4. Feed all hungry rats.

5. Do not turn your back toward east.