Gonfardud is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, moody snail.

Gonfardud created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonfardud, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gonfardud, she will torture you forever.

Gonfardud's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gonfardud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gonfardud's name in vain.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.